Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

I don't have much contact with mainstream media or reports on which famous people are doing what, so I may be way behind the times here...
But after I read about this over on Peerie Flooers, I am just loving the Pinkett-Smith family that much more:


On letting their daughter, Willow, shave her head, Jada Pinkett-Smith responded:  

"The question why I would LET Willow cut her hair. First the LET must be challenged. This is a world where women, girls are constantly reminded that they don't belong to themselves; that their bodies are not their own, nor their power, or self determination. I made a promise to endow my little girl with the power to always know that her body, spirit, and her mind are HER domain. Willow cut her hair because her beauty, her value, her worth is not measured by the length of her hair. It's also a statement that claims that even little girls have the RIGHT to own themselves and should not be a slave to even their mother's deepest insecurities, hopes, and desires. Even little girls should not be a slave to the preconceived ideas of what a culture believes a little girl should be."
(source)

And Will Smith said:

"We let Willow cut her hair. When you have a little girl, it's like how can you teach her that you're in control of her body? If I teach her that I'm in charge of whether or not she can touch her hair, she's going to replace me with some other man when she goes out in the world. She can't cut my hair but that's her hair. She has got to have command of her body. So when she goes out into the world, she's going out with a command that is hers. She is used to making those decisions herself. We try to keep giving them those decisions until they can hold the full weight of their lives."
(source)

Thank freakin' G-d for parents willing to challenge themselves (and all of us in the process) to allow their children to be more than a reflection of themselves!

I would go further, and say we must teach both our daughters *and* sons that their bodies are their own, that their thoughts are their own, that they need not conform to societal 'norms' *nor* break them in simple rebellion - they are truly their own people.  Perfect & perfectly loved - for their own sake.

Not for us the approve or disapprove, not for our profit & gain, and not for furthering our ideals & ideas.

For.  Their.  Own.  Sake.

As Utah Phillips said in a speech he gave at the Washington State Young Writers Conference:  "You are about to be told one more time that you are America's most valuable natural resource.  Have you seen what they do to valuable natural resources?!  Have you seen a strip mine?  Have you seen a clear cut in the forest?  Have you seen a polluted river?  Don't ever let them call you a valuable natural resource!  They're going to strip mine your soul.  They're going to clear cut your best thoughts for the sake of profit unless you learn to resist, because the profit system follows the path of least resistance and following the path of least resistance is what makes the river crooked!"

Saturday, March 10, 2012

A Lot of Work

Conversation with Trent before bed.  He is building with his leggos.

Me:  Time to brush your teeth!

Trent:  I'm still working!  I have a lot of work to do...

Me:  OK - just a couple more minutes & then it's time for us to brush our teeth.

As I walk away, I hear Trent saying to himself:  A lot, a lot, a lot a LOT of work to do!

And, then, about two minutes later, he walks up to me & says:  OK Mama - I'm done.  Let's go brush our teeth.

Oh.  Wow.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

What Do I Really Know?

Pretty much Nothing, as it turns out.

Every time I think I'm starting to get it - this life, or my life, or being a Mama, or how to be happy, or whatever - figured out.  Well, to be kind, let's just say that's usually when all hell breaks loose.

Luckily I seem to be getting more adept at sitting in midst of chaos & letting it burn.  Burn up this crazy ego of mine that wants everything exactly the way I want it, and NOW.  Have I mentioned before I hate not getting what I want?  That I hate not getting my way?  That I can be an absolute child about having to consider other people?

Yeah.  Super-fun.  Especially since I'm the Mama now & there is an actual child in the house.  Also demanding to get his way, and NOW!

........................................................................................................................................................................

And, am I surprised that my child is intense?  Is prone to fits of rage?  Throws & hits & screams in frustration?

Nope.

He is my child after all.  And his Dad's.  And we are, neither of us, smooth & peaceful creatures.  We both carry in us that heat; that spark; that iron & steel.  We are instigators; lighters of fires.  It is only in the past few years I have even begun to discover the (much vaster) potential of water; of love; the power in being capable of flow.

For the past two years, Trent has been teaching me almost daily:  Open Mama, open...
Any place I'm rigid, he breaks me {open}.
His love is so big.  I am humbled.

Who am I that I get to be his Mama?
As Marianne Williams says:  Who am I not to be?!?

An endless journey into Not Knowing.  Trusting.  Learning.  And letting go...