40/100 (A Continuation)

{1-20}


21.  File my taxes on time
22.  Be debt free
23.  Scuba dive
24.  Extended travel with my children
25.  Waldorf teacher training
26.  Discover my Life's Work
27.  Have a photography show
28.  Make pickles
29.  Can/preserve yearly
30.  Feel self-sufficient
31.  Trust {other people}
32.  Stop doubting myself as a mother
33.  Tell the Truth.  All the Truth, all the time.
34.  Work a polling center on election day
35.  Donate yearly to {at least 5} organizations I believe in
36.  Live in a home {that I LOVE} for over 5 years
37.  Dare to Dream
38.  Let go of the Dream{s} & Live NOW
39.  Get over {the potential of} my ex-husband

40.  Knit a sweater for myself

sculpture by Paige Bradley
http://www.paigebradley.com/

The Oh-So-Much-ness

My last post was March 10th.
That means it's been almost 4 months since I've posted anything.
The interesting thing to me is that it actually felt like longer...
Like another lifetime...

I've been caught up in Life, or, as I like to call it:  The Oh-So-Much-ness

Oh, so much cooking; Oh, so much cleaning; Oh, so much making music by hitting one object on another object (and the related: Oh, so much defining what can & cannot be used as a drum/drum stick...)...

Just now, I am at the end of day 5 of a 7-day yoga intensive.
I have laughed, I have cried, the muscles & bones in my mid-back are talking to me quite loudly; I have not slept nearly as much as I hoped I would (though I fall asleep in in class during Savasana & Pranayama every day).

I am missing my boy *intensely*...

The Dad messaged me that they slept in this meadow last night.
So much sadness, so much joy; I ache.

And, each day, my belly grows.
Who is this new little one?
Will s/he ever know this Dad?
So much joy, so much sadness; I ache.

Oh.  So.  Much.

Love.

Sometimes My Heart Feels Like This

{This Moment}

(Inspired by...)

I'm breaking the 'rules' today.
Because I couldn't choose just one moment.
Because I so rarely include myself in these moments.
Because I am a mother & also a lover.
Because....