The Oh-So-Much-ness

My last post was March 10th.
That means it's been almost 4 months since I've posted anything.
The interesting thing to me is that it actually felt like longer...
Like another lifetime...

I've been caught up in Life, or, as I like to call it:  The Oh-So-Much-ness

Oh, so much cooking; Oh, so much cleaning; Oh, so much making music by hitting one object on another object (and the related: Oh, so much defining what can & cannot be used as a drum/drum stick...)...

Just now, I am at the end of day 5 of a 7-day yoga intensive.
I have laughed, I have cried, the muscles & bones in my mid-back are talking to me quite loudly; I have not slept nearly as much as I hoped I would (though I fall asleep in in class during Savasana & Pranayama every day).

I am missing my boy *intensely*...

The Dad messaged me that they slept in this meadow last night.
So much sadness, so much joy; I ache.

And, each day, my belly grows.
Who is this new little one?
Will s/he ever know this Dad?
So much joy, so much sadness; I ache.

Oh.  So.  Much.

Love.

Whatever

So....I have definitely NOT been blogging every Thursday & Sunday evening, like I said I would.

And, you know what? I don't care.

I have this little reminder alarm that pops up & tells me it's time to blog, and I keep ignoring it.

I am a seriously busy kitty these days:

Trent is almost 17 months now & running around like crazy, singing up a storm, and generally enchanting & driving me nuts in almost equal parts. Plus, uninterrupted sleep is still rare commodity - so sometimes it's really all I can do to show up. Good thing showing up is 90%, right?

I am also in a three-month yoga teacher training, and it is kicking my butt - both mentally & physically. I am in class for five hours every Saturday & Sunday until mid-December (plus, a couple hours every Tuesday & Friday evening). Muscles I didn't know I had are sore, and I am spending much of Trent's sleeping time doing homework or attempting some home practice time.
And: I LOVE IT.

Then there's the fact that I'm moving to Sebastopol (and hour away) in December, so I'm showing my place & starting to sort through Trent & my stuff to see what we can get rid of now, so I don't have to pack it. It's a process I actually really enjoy - I just wish I had more time & wasn't so gosh darn tired...

So, anyway - fuck blogging twice a week.

I'll see you when I see you, and at least you'll know I really wanted to be there.

xoox