1/30 - Today I Forgot About My Daughter

Today is Day 1 of a challenge I set for myself - to write every day for the month of May & simply tell the truth:  Good.  Bad.  Beautiful.  Ugly.  Embarrassing.  Exciting.  Titillating.  Boring.
Whatever - so long as it's the truth for that day (or moment)...

(If I'd been more on it, I would have started May 1st, but - Oh well - that's sort of how my life goes these days)

So, today, I took the kids to the 5th birthday party of one of my son's best friends.  They've been in preschool together for the last three years & Trent just loves him.  And I really like their family.  And their youngest really like Iara.  Wins all 'round!

And we had a great time - until it came time for the Birthday Boy to open his presents & suddenly all the other children (including Trent) descended on the poor boy like f*cking vultures, offering to 'help' him open his presents; screaming; elbowing each other; and generally acting like little beasts.

This is a bad situation for Trent, who gets really overwhelmed, but can't seem to pull himself out of the group.  I could see he was starting to get frustrated, and he started pushing himself closer & yelling, and I kept having him move out of the group, or at least in the midst of kids I know he does well with (and who do well with him) - and away from a couple kids he was clearly 'sparking' with.

And then, after about 15 minutes of this, I suddenly realize I have no idea where Iara is!

And I had a mini panic attack.

And she was fine - standing about 10 feet away, seemingly totally in her own world.

Some other parents noticed all this & said they'd asked her if she wanted to come closer & she kept saying 'no'.

And I felt simultaneously relieved that other people had been taking care of Iara & *totally embarrassed* that I had been witnessed in the act of *forgetting all about my 16 month old daughter*!!!

Seriously, what kind of a parent does that?!?!?

I am losing my mind...

Iara Blue

Baby Girl, you were born smiling - that's just the kind of girl you are.

5 days old

You have brought sweetness & joy.  You rejoice, truly, in life.  Everything is cause for giggles & you make your brother laugh & laugh.

But you are not a shrinking violet - you let me (and the world) know, in no uncertain terms, when you need something.

And, my Iara Blue, you are beautiful.  Gorgeous, really.  So much so that I am in awe that you came from me.

Your brightness stuns me in the best possible way(s).

Girl, I love you.  So very much.

And, your brother - oh man - he LOVES you.  And you ADORE him.  I catch you, all the time, just gazing at him, in awe.  You watch everything he does.  You take it in.  You are learning from the best...

Some days, when I doubt myself & my worthiness in having brought you into this world - I remember: you get him for a big brother.  For always.

And we get you - the sweetest of the sweet.  Our baby pterodactyl, or ostrich, or whatever makes those funny sounds you make.

And your Daddy, well, the only thing he's not confused about is loving you.  I think it scares him, actually:  how much he loves you...

Thank you for choosing us, Baby Sister.  For gracing us.

Love,
Mama

And Then There Were Two...

It says something about life with two kids that she was born on Dec 13th & I'm only just now posting this...

Iara Blue Alves Cunov
Born at home
7lbs 9oz

Healthy, beautiful & a total LOVE