I don't have much contact with mainstream media or reports on which famous people are doing what, so I may be way behind the times here...
But after I read about this over on Peerie Flooers, I am just loving the Pinkett-Smith family that much more:

On letting their daughter, Willow, shave her head, Jada Pinkett-Smith responded:  

"The question why I would LET Willow cut her hair. First the LET must be challenged. This is a world where women, girls are constantly reminded that they don't belong to themselves; that their bodies are not their own, nor their power, or self determination. I made a promise to endow my little girl with the power to always know that her body, spirit, and her mind are HER domain. Willow cut her hair because her beauty, her value, her worth is not measured by the length of her hair. It's also a statement that claims that even little girls have the RIGHT to own themselves and should not be a slave to even their mother's deepest insecurities, hopes, and desires. Even little girls should not be a slave to the preconceived ideas of what a culture believes a little girl should be."
(source)

And Will Smith said:

"We let Willow cut her hair. When you have a little girl, it's like how can you teach her that you're in control of her body? If I teach her that I'm in charge of whether or not she can touch her hair, she's going to replace me with some other man when she goes out in the world. She can't cut my hair but that's her hair. She has got to have command of her body. So when she goes out into the world, she's going out with a command that is hers. She is used to making those decisions herself. We try to keep giving them those decisions until they can hold the full weight of their lives."
(source)

Thank freakin' G-d for parents willing to challenge themselves (and all of us in the process) to allow their children to be more than a reflection of themselves!

I would go further, and say we must teach both our daughters *and* sons that their bodies are their own, that their thoughts are their own, that they need not conform to societal 'norms' *nor* break them in simple rebellion - they are truly their own people.  Perfect & perfectly loved - for their own sake.

Not for us the approve or disapprove, not for our profit & gain, and not for furthering our ideals & ideas.

For.  Their.  Own.  Sake.

As Utah Phillips said in a speech he gave at the Washington State Young Writers Conference:  "You are about to be told one more time that you are America's most valuable natural resource.  Have you seen what they do to valuable natural resources?!  Have you seen a strip mine?  Have you seen a clear cut in the forest?  Have you seen a polluted river?  Don't ever let them call you a valuable natural resource!  They're going to strip mine your soul.  They're going to clear cut your best thoughts for the sake of profit unless you learn to resist, because the profit system follows the path of least resistance and following the path of least resistance is what makes the river crooked!"

The Oh-So-Much-ness

My last post was March 10th.
That means it's been almost 4 months since I've posted anything.
The interesting thing to me is that it actually felt like longer...
Like another lifetime...

I've been caught up in Life, or, as I like to call it:  The Oh-So-Much-ness

Oh, so much cooking; Oh, so much cleaning; Oh, so much making music by hitting one object on another object (and the related: Oh, so much defining what can & cannot be used as a drum/drum stick...)...

Just now, I am at the end of day 5 of a 7-day yoga intensive.
I have laughed, I have cried, the muscles & bones in my mid-back are talking to me quite loudly; I have not slept nearly as much as I hoped I would (though I fall asleep in in class during Savasana & Pranayama every day).

I am missing my boy *intensely*...

The Dad messaged me that they slept in this meadow last night.
So much sadness, so much joy; I ache.

And, each day, my belly grows.
Who is this new little one?
Will s/he ever know this Dad?
So much joy, so much sadness; I ache.

Oh.  So.  Much.

Love.

Yoga -or- Living in a Body

I'm lying in bed, taking some time to read my favorite blogs.
Over the past 30 minutes or so that I've been lying here, I've noticed several times that I'm {unconsciously} gripping my upper inner thighs.
Each time I notice, I release.
5 or 10 minutes later, I'll notice it again.
This is the same thing I catch myself doing in the dentist's chair & lying in Savasana.
Sometimes I also clench my hands.
Standing in lines I invariably find myself standing more heavily on my right foot, with my left hip cocked out to the side.

This awareness + conscious release & realignment + breath is most of what I mean when I say 'yoga'.

Photo Credit:  Here

Hide Nothing

{Inspired by...}

Sometimes I'm totally bored of being with my child.

Sometimes I wish I'd never had a kid.

I'm secretly hoping to get accidentally pregnant.
(I think I may be crazy)

Sometimes I hate families with two parents. 
But, really, I secretly envy them.

I would get electrolysis if I could afford it & didn't think people would judge me.
I'd probably also get a boob job if I thought it would look natural & I didn't think people would judge me.

I judge people who don't breast feed.

I once spent $1000 on clothes because I was mad at Him for sleeping with another woman.

I have cheated on every boyfriend I've ever had.

I once lied to a credit card company & told them my card had been stolen, so I wouldn't have to pay for the last few times I used that card.

I had an abortion.

I'm terrified my parents will find this blog.

I'm scared to tell my parents I'm getting divorced.  Even though they probably already know.  I mean, I've been living separately from my husband for almost 2 years now.

One of the reasons I haven't (officially) gotten divorced yet is that I'm afraid I won't be able to support myself on my own.
Another reason I haven't (officially) gotten divorced yet is that I still sometimes think we'll work it out.

One of the reasons I dye my hair is so no one will see I'm starting to go gray.

I do.  not.  like.  the wrinkles forming between my eyebrows.
I'm OK with the ones at the corners of my eyes.

I have pretty much always been afraid I was fat - since I was about 11 - except for about the 6 months before I got pregnant.

I loved being pregnant.  So.  Much.
One of the reasons I want another baby is so I can be pregnant again.
And give birth again.

I am totally jealous of other people's success.  Especially their successful relationships.

I secretly wish bad things upon people I've felt hurt by.

I often feel lonely.
I feel angry most of the time.

I'm obsessed with really expensive jeans & boots.

I sometimes ignore my kid to write in this blog.

I'm afraid I may not do anything worthwhile with my life.

If You Want to Change the World

If you want to change the world… love a woman-really love her.
Find the one who calls to your soul, who doesn’t make sense.
Throw away your check list and put your ear to her heart and listen.
Hear the names, the prayers, the songs of every living thing-
every winged one, every furry and scaled one,
every underground and underwater one, every green and flowering one,
every not yet born and dying one…
Hear their melancholy praises back to the One who gave them life.
If you haven’t heard your own name yet, you haven’t listened long enough.
If your eyes aren’t filled with tears, if you aren’t bowing at her feet,
you haven’t ever grieved having almost lost her.

If you want to change the world… love a woman-one woman
beyond yourself, beyond desire and reason,
beyond your male preferences for youth, beauty and variety
and all your superficial concepts of freedom.
We have given ourselves so many choices
we have forgotten that true liberation
comes from standing in the middle of the soul’s fire
and burning through our resistance to Love.
There is only one Goddess.
Look into Her eyes and see-really see
if she is the one to bring the axe to your head.
If not, walk away. Right now.
Don’t waste time “trying.”
Know that your decision has nothing to do with her
because ultimately it’s not with who,
but when we choose to surrender.

If you want to change the world… love a woman.
Love her for life-beyond your fear of death,
beyond your fear of being manipulated
by the Mother inside your head.
Don’t tell her you’re willing to die for her.
Say you’re willing to LIVE with her,
plant trees with her and watch them grow.
Be her hero by telling her how beautiful she is in her vulnerable majesty,
by helping her to remember every day that she IS Goddess
through your adoration and devotion.

If you want to change the world… love a woman
in all her faces, through all her seasons
and she will heal you of your schizophrenia-
your double-mindedness and half-heartedness
which keeps your Spirit and body separate-
which keeps you alone and always looking outside your Self
for something to make your life worth living.
There will always be another woman.
Soon the new shiny one will become the old dull one
and you’ll grow restless again, trading in women like cars,
trading in the Goddess for the latest object of your desire.
Man doesn’t need any more choices.
What man needs is Woman, the Way of the Feminine,
of Patience and Compassion, non-seeking, non-doing,
of breathing in one place and sinking deep intertwining roots
strong enough to hold the Earth together
while she shakes off the cement and steel from her skin.

If you want to change the world… love a woman, just one woman .
Love and protect her as if she is the last holy vessel.
Love her through her fear of abandonment
which she has been holding for all of humanity.
No, the wound is not hers to heal alone.
No, she is not weak in her codependence.

If you want to change the world… love a woman
all the way through
until she believes you,
until her instincts, her visions, her voice, her art, her passion,
her wildness have returned to her-
until she is a force of love more powerful
than all the political media demons who seek to devalue and destroy her.

If you want to change the world,
lay down your causes, your guns and protest signs.
Lay down your inner war, your righteous anger
and love a woman…
beyond all of your striving for greatness,
beyond your tenacious quest for enlightenment.
The holy grail stands before you
if you would only take her in your arms
and let go of searching for something beyond this intimacy.

What if peace is a dream which can only be re-membered
through the heart of Woman?
What if a man’s love for Woman, the Way of the Feminine
is the key to opening Her heart?

If you want to change the world…love a woman
to the depths of your shadow,
to the highest reaches of your Being,
back to the Garden where you first met her,
to the gateway of the rainbow realm
where you walk through together as Light as One,
to the point of no return,
to the ends and the beginning of a new Earth.

--Lisa Citore

Words for Today

 

What the Body Says

I was born here, and

I belong here, and

I will never leave.

The blue heron's

gray smoke will flow over me

for years

and the wind will decide

all directions

until I am safely and entirely

something else.

I am thinking of this

this winter morning

as I sit by the fire

and the fire in it's red rack

keeps singing

its crackling song

of transformation.

Of course

I wonder about

the mystery

that is surely up there

in starry space

and how some part of me

will go there at last.

But I am talking now

of the way the body speaks,

and the wind, that keeps saying,

firmly, lovingly:

a little while and then this body will be stone; then

it will be water; then

it will be air.

-Mary Oliver